Ok obviously by the title you can imagine that I did not survive the 10 day challenge. YES I admit "I" failed. Not my RAD, me. Trauma won this round and everything else took a back seat to it. I am not proud or happy with myself but hey, it's true, you will NOT win them all. And that my friends is ok. This is a constant learning process for you, your RAD, your spouse, your other kids, the dogs (oh man my poor dogs), the people at the grocery store that look at you funny.....you get the picture.
I used to say "We are all abused, Adjust!" I find that statement now to be almost a laugh. Adjust, really? To something you don't yet understand how to fight?
This week has been hard. I accepted the Christine Moers' Challenge with open arms and full of hope. I made a valiant effort but could not get all the way through it. The more hugs I gave the more venom he spat. He has been increasingly violent this week and has started with new tricks that I have been praying were things "other people's RADs did, not mine". Running away, or trying. This weekend was the grocery store out the door dash across the parking lot. (Thank you Lord for giving me unusually fast feet and really long arms). Tomorrow will it be down the street, to the highway? I just don't know.
Another issue we have dealt with a lot lately is shoving things into parts on our body. I can't tell you how many times we have been to the doctor! This is getting serious. My RAD was enjoying random chatter in the back seat with our nanny and said that the "voices he hears at night make him want to plug his ears so he can sleep". I don't even know how to take that one. The house is VERY quiet at night after the kids are asleep. Mainly because the hubby and I are so tired we can't move. I am ready for a new obsession. Lets go back to stuffed animals or pillow, those are safer obsessions! Any suggestions of great obsessions out there would really help!
I know this process is supposed to get harder before it gets better and I am ready for that, it has been very difficult the last few weeks, making the Christine Challenge a bit more difficult. Does it end? Do you get glimmers of hope? Is this really working? A good friend told me to tally my day and that is what I am going to do for you now. I am going to show you what I have done to make myself feel a little better. Here is Sunday:
Wake up and eat breakfast-he did it without much complaint--mom 1 point
Get dressed-couldn't remember and melted--trauma 1 point
Loaded into the car when asked--mom 1 point
Loaded out of the car at church when asked and held hands in the parking lot--mom 1 point
Sat quietly and listened through church--mom 1 point
Refused to eat lunch and melted--trauma 1 point
Loaded and unloaded in car to visit horse farm--mom 2 points
Walked through grocery store (1/2 way)--mom 1/2 point
Melted and caused a stink in the grocery store over cereal selection--trauma 1 points
Told Mom "I love you ok, buy me this..."--trauma 1 point (this one kinda hurt)
Walked with mom hand and hand through rest of shop although he hated it--mom 2 points
Tried to run from store--trauma 1 point
Got ready for bed when asked--mom 1 point
Ok, get the picture?? Let us review.
Mom=9 1/2 points
Trauma= 5 points
I don't win everyday but I did that day! Find the good that your child does (what my really really smart friend told me) and grow from that.
I used to say "We are all abused, Adjust!" I find that statement now to be almost a laugh. Adjust, really? To something you don't yet understand how to fight?
This week has been hard. I accepted the Christine Moers' Challenge with open arms and full of hope. I made a valiant effort but could not get all the way through it. The more hugs I gave the more venom he spat. He has been increasingly violent this week and has started with new tricks that I have been praying were things "other people's RADs did, not mine". Running away, or trying. This weekend was the grocery store out the door dash across the parking lot. (Thank you Lord for giving me unusually fast feet and really long arms). Tomorrow will it be down the street, to the highway? I just don't know.
Another issue we have dealt with a lot lately is shoving things into parts on our body. I can't tell you how many times we have been to the doctor! This is getting serious. My RAD was enjoying random chatter in the back seat with our nanny and said that the "voices he hears at night make him want to plug his ears so he can sleep". I don't even know how to take that one. The house is VERY quiet at night after the kids are asleep. Mainly because the hubby and I are so tired we can't move. I am ready for a new obsession. Lets go back to stuffed animals or pillow, those are safer obsessions! Any suggestions of great obsessions out there would really help!
I know this process is supposed to get harder before it gets better and I am ready for that, it has been very difficult the last few weeks, making the Christine Challenge a bit more difficult. Does it end? Do you get glimmers of hope? Is this really working? A good friend told me to tally my day and that is what I am going to do for you now. I am going to show you what I have done to make myself feel a little better. Here is Sunday:
Wake up and eat breakfast-he did it without much complaint--mom 1 point
Get dressed-couldn't remember and melted--trauma 1 point
Loaded into the car when asked--mom 1 point
Loaded out of the car at church when asked and held hands in the parking lot--mom 1 point
Sat quietly and listened through church--mom 1 point
Refused to eat lunch and melted--trauma 1 point
Loaded and unloaded in car to visit horse farm--mom 2 points
Walked through grocery store (1/2 way)--mom 1/2 point
Melted and caused a stink in the grocery store over cereal selection--trauma 1 points
Told Mom "I love you ok, buy me this..."--trauma 1 point (this one kinda hurt)
Walked with mom hand and hand through rest of shop although he hated it--mom 2 points
Tried to run from store--trauma 1 point
Got ready for bed when asked--mom 1 point
Ok, get the picture?? Let us review.
Mom=9 1/2 points
Trauma= 5 points
I don't win everyday but I did that day! Find the good that your child does (what my really really smart friend told me) and grow from that.
Sure it gets better! Look at my home!! We still battle the little things constantly. Puberty brought a fairly serious regression. Yet, I could write you a book on the behaviors we no longer see - yet another book on the ones that only come out for special occasions.
ReplyDeleteI love your list. I should make one!