Ok it has been a long time since I have blogged (Christmas). If you have to ask why frankly I will kick you on the shin :)

Christmas sucked. Sorry but there is not a better word to describe it. We have had some great things happen which I will have to blog on once they are legal and we have had some....well....moments.

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I do however have something to share with you. A small token to put in your box of tricks. We all have mommy magic inside of us. Some of us use it daily. I am sure at some point you have made the comment to your RAD "mom is magic" "mom knows everything" "mom can see that" "mommy knew that" You get the idea. Its mommy magic. I use mine as often as possible.

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I arrived home to have a house full of feuding brothers and a RAD well on the way to one serious tear down the house try to attack mommy melt. Everyone was sent to their rooms. I am but one person. Divide and conquer. What started as a fun bantering between brothers became and angry name calling match. That doesn't sound too bad, right? Wrong. Remember I have a RAD. Shame and anger are always looming and the smallest trigger will set a rage into full swing.

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With the masses safely in their rooms I started to make my rounds. First I went to the 2 oldest. We discussed yet again why that behavior would not be tolerated and the potential outcomes that could have been had mom not swooped in. Eye rolling was swiftly followed by a yes ma'am and with that attitude you can remain in your rooms until bed. (seriously we were 30 minutes to bedtime anyway but I got my point across loud and clear).

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Next stop was to quickly check on the youngest (my passive RAD). He was quiet, understood why he was in his room and was willing to talk with me after I dealt with the raging bull in the room next door. My raging bull was trying to see what his face would look like with sheetrock permanently attached.

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I was able to get him on his bed (by his own steam mind you-that's a score one for mom). He immediately started yelling very loudly that it was so-in-so's fault. I asked him why he was yelling at me? I didn't do it I just wanted to talk to him and see what the scope was on the day's events. The banter or him yelling and me remaining calm and therapeutic continued for about 3 minutes. He finally just stared at me, blank eyes (you know the look I am referring too-SCARY). I had his attention. I sat down next to him on the bed. Not too close and not touching. Too soon to tell if he would progress to violence and he was fired up. I started to run my head. I "found something" without saying anything and started to rub. "Ahhh that's better". He looked at me like I was crazy. I love that look because that look means I have a captive and curious audience and I am about to take this melt to the home stretch. I asked him if he knew I was magical. He said "yea mom you tell me all the time!" (eyes rolling, voice elevated). I kinda have a secret I told him. I have these bumps on my head. They are sometimes small and sometimes big and sometimes they feel like a big crater in my head under my hair! They are my angry bumps. They only come out when I am getting angry. I asked him if he knew what anger felt like and he did. He said his head was angry. I told him that made perfect sense because that was where my anger was! We started rubbing our heads finding the bumps and craters and massaging them when we did. He calmed down. He said he felt a little better, not a lot but a little. I told him sometimes a little is just as good.

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Once regulated I explained to him that the angry is way in the back of his brain right next to his "man brain". His "man brain" is the part of his brain that is learning to grow and be a good man, a good husband, a good father, a good leader. I explained that it takes a very long time for that part of the brain to wake up and learn (stop laughing ladies). He said he understood and that was why when he raged he cried like a baby. A baby, not a young man. He was not allowing his man brain room to grow.

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Now that he had this little tid bit of wonderfulness he had to keep it secret. It was mommy magic that I shared with him. Mommies have to keep their magic secret because it is special. We made a pinky promise and giggled because he had a little bit of me in his brain now. It was an awesome way to touch and interact.

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It is small steps but I am planting seeds. I am touching him daily. We are talking daily. He watches me like a hawk and hears EVERYTHING I say. I keep up with every charade and mommy magic I have. I still rub my head every now and again, he is watching, he sees me do it and when he spirals up he starts to do it. I am giving him tools for his own arsenal against these really big feelings he can't yet control.

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Stay creative and practice more mommy magic!!