RTC-done

I just left the residential treatment facility my son will be housed at for the next 4 months or more. I wish I felt peace. I wish I was ok with this. I have suffered some pretty intense days in the last 3 years and some down right "how thew hell did I survive" days in the last 6 months. I have spent the last several weeks in a slump. I have no doubt I am depressed. I want to curl up and block everything out.

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I may take some time away from life for a bit. I need to step back before I make a rash decision.

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This has been a hard road for everyone involved. Our family has struggled and most of us can make it through a day without showing some scars. For the people that have been there and tried to be supportive, thank you. I doubt I can say or do anything to express my gratitude. I know I am not the easiest to deal with and even more so when I shut down in pain. I appreciate you.

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Now, for those of you that chose to walk away when you see a family like mine, make snide comments about me giving my child away, asking if there is a military boot camp for such a child, suggest I give him back to the adoption agency, suggest I sue the State for giving me my child, share your unwanted opinion while living your nice little fruity life, call me when you are having a bad day expecting me to stop parenting real trauma and assist you, get pissed when I can't do what you need exactly when you need it, at his little butt with a belt", look at me like I have 2 heads when I say I can't be a volunteer and no he can't have candy!, scoff at me and say "oh my" at my children, turn your nose up at my "odd" family. SCREW you. Happy now? "The demon child" has left the house for a little while. Hope you have fun riding atop your mountain.

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Somethings just need to be said out loud.

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I promise to keep an update on approved therapies in RTC as we work through the program. I know RTC is a bit of a stretch for some of you and it was definitely not what I had in mind for our future.